It's just left half past four and I am trying to mentally and physically motivate myself for working night-shift for the next two nights! It's not working - my get up and go for nursing got up and went a long time ago and I am struggling to find the enthusiasm I once had!!
The children have been safely deposited at my mothers for the night, and after nightshift I will pick them up and try to spend some time with them tomorrow before having to then drop them at my fathers for another overnight stay, whilst I go back to work!!
All my shifts are tiring, but nightshifts come with a self-imposed sleep deprivation! Out of guilt at being away all night I can never bear to come home and then sleep all day - the guilt would suffocate me, and my parents do welcome the respite when i stay awake to spend some time with the children!!
I alwasy thought I knew what it was to feel guilty.....dear God, the word takes on a whole new dimension when you become a parent. Now, I feel guilty about EVERYTHING!!! I feel guilty about the things I do and the things I dont do, and even the things I thought about doing!!
So my next few days will be spend in a sleepless state, but at least I will be able to fit in some quality time with the kids and my parents will have some needed rest time!
And I can looking forward to a birthday party on Saturday - one of my closest friends little boy turns two today and so Saturday will see us all joining in the hysteria that is uniqe to a room full of toddlers loaded on sugar!!! By that point sleep deprivation may have given way to hysteria, and I may be the most manic of them all!!
Do you feel guilty? Did it change when you bacame a parent?
What is the main thing that induces parent-guilt within you?
How do you manage it?