Wednesday, 2 November 2011

The 'Other' Grandparents!

I received a very warm text today from my ex-husbands parents declaring their love and desire to still be a part of the childrens and my life.
I change my mind daily on this matter.
Should I be actively promoting a relationship between the children and their 'other' grandparents?
Or, do I cut ties and focus on my own life, and the childrens?

When my ex-husband moved to Australia, leaving me 5 months pregnant with an 18month old son, he chose to leave, but where does that leave his parents? They didnt leave, it was not their decision to abandon their grandchildren therefore part of me thinks that they should not miss out.
However, I am no longer part of that family and my children barely know them, and to be honest, it is bloody hard seeing them act as though nothing happened, and that it is perfectly justifiable that their son is on the other side of the world whilst I raise our children on my own!
Add into the mix that they are soon to have a new daughter-in-law as my ex-husband remarries this month and I am left with many unanswered confusing questions as to what is the right thing to do for my children and myself!!

Has anyone else ever faced this situation?
What would you do?
Is it my responsibility to encourgae the children to meet their other grandparents, or did my ex-husband relinquish their rights to see their grandchildren when he relinquished his own paternal rights??

Its a difficult and emotive area, and maybe there is no answer!!


  1. Its such a hard one, but I would honestly let them into your life and try to work through the mixed emotions. If you can form a strong relationship with them, you will have a much bigger support network which is so valuable single mum or not. And your kids can only benefit from having more people in their lives that love them. Eventually the hurt from what has happened will go away, and one day there will only be good feelings left for those people that stuck by you no matter who they are related to.

  2. such wise words Elise, and many valid points. Thank you!!